Once we are settled on something we have been taught for years or really want to believe because they validate our own feelings, we are sometimes reluctant to let go of those beliefs. Regardless of the level of veracity in new information available, some people are predisposed to turning their backs on new information because it makes them uncomfortable.
As a result, we sometimes end up in a circle of lies that fail to advance us individually or collectively.
The death of Youtube relationship sensation Kevin Samuels should have been a sad moment, particularly in the Black community. Across the American experience, Black men are the least protected, most hated, and hunted.
Unfortunately, black-skinned folks have fallen victim to the same web of deceit and lack of unity that caused us to be shackled and brought here over four hundred years ago, not as proud people but as dehumanized chattel to be exploited.
Whether or not mister Samuels died poor in a small sublet apartment, was his message any less what it was because he may or may not have had a huge bank account?
Kevin Samuels did not have a television or radio show; he was relegated to a Youtube channel. Despite that, women and men logged on to his channel to ask him for relationship advice.
I did not know about Kevin Samuels until a few months before his passing. Being curious, I watched a few of his shows; admittedly, not always in their entirety, I do have a short attention span.
I observed that whatever he said must be processed within the context of the question or the statement made to him.
The sad reality is that critics generally don’t care about [context]; their objective is not to be rational and fair; they want to tear down and destroy.
The women who called Kevin Samuels sought him out; he did not call them, so when a woman tells him she wanted a so-called ‑high-value man, ‑whatever that is? It is only fair that he asked her about her education, weight, age, and how many children she has, among other questions.
After all, we live in a shallow-Al-style society that values how people look and how much money they have. Acquiescing to those realities, Samuels made determinations based on what the woman brought to the table and what, in his judgment, he believed her pros and cons would attract.
People do not like to hear truths, so they disparage the messenger rather than process the message. That has been one of the Achilles heels of Black America. It is easier to ridicule the messenger than look in the mirror and change. They had so much venom and disgust for Bill Cosby because he challenged young men to pull up their damn pants. They were overjoyed when Cosby was brought down because it made them feel better about themselves.
Kevin Samuels spoke the truth to women, but that was not what they logged onto his program for; they were there for him to validate their bullshit.
They wanted him to tell them that with three children for three different baby-daddies, no education, and weighing 280 pounds, they were entitled to a man making six figures, who would cater to her every desire, and he must have no baby-momma drama.
These fantasies may exist on planet Utopia, and I recently heard they might also be on planet Uranus.
If you watch television and do not like the content, thank God we still have the freedom to turn the channel. The people who called and watched Kevin Samuels were there because they wanted his advice; I find it odd that those who did not like what he had to say or how he said what he said would find joy and comfort in his passing. That includes not just some of the women who tell themselves they are queens (small q), but also some sorry-ass brothas, who have nothing going for themselves outside of their pathetic abilities to tear down. Any fool can tear down, it takes real men and women of character to build up. Those who can only tear down include some so-called preachers who cannot cut it in the real world, so they prostitute God’s word to enrich themselves. There is a special hell for those demons.
I am all for wokeness, but we delude ourselves when we continue to lie to ourselves that we are kings and queens because it makes us feel good in our negativity.
Far too many women seem to think they have a right to be treated with deference because she is a queen, with four kids, for four different men and nothing else but a bad attitude with genitalia.
No one owes you anything in relationships; add value to yourself, and hopefully, someone will see that as something appealing.
Demanding that a man make six figures to allow you to buy fake asses, fake hair, fake nails, fake eyelashes, fake everything is silly. Real men do not want to see you in any of that stuff, for starters.……You attract what you dress for.
Accusing dissenters of your BS of being misogynistic or having a phobia is simplistic, disingenuous & self-serving. Hard truths are not misogyny, regardless of how often the corporate media say it is. Far too many women want ready-made wealth rather than commit to working with a man who has a good plan. Many of you lie to yourselves that you do not want a man because you cannot get or keep a good man.
You harm your children through your toxic behavior toward the fathers who leave you because of that toxicity. You then weaponize their children against them, then claim they are dead-bead dads.
You fall prey to the lure of a system that deliberately created the environment to institutionalize Black men leaving their children fatherless so they can become fodder for the prison industrial complex. But you are either too stupid or too prideful to realize it because you are a queen, right?
You are hurting your children when you separate them from their fathers. You are hurting your children when you follow blindly behind an American society that has laid the trap that incentivizes you to disrespect your man in front of his children and call the police and accuse him of abusing you.
Society wants the Black man in prison because it knows a child without a father in the home is more likely to end up in prison and less likely to become a productive member of society.
But you understand none of this because you are a queen.…… that thirty-five-year-old, six foot five Black man living with you is not your man but your son; your baby, right? And he, in his ignorance, sees wherever you live as his crib, too.
Because of your toxicity, you raise him to believe the world owes him a living, but you not only destroy his relationship with his father, you make it impossible for him to become the father he should be. But guess what he most likely will be a father to several children, a dysfunctional one. One that the racist system revels in, one that the system designed with you in mind.
Whether or not Kevin Samuels had money is not important. A man’s worth cannot rationally be measured by the material possessions he acquired but by the legacy of service he gave to his fellow man. Assigning credibility to wealth is asinine; it is the reason immoral characters with money, and even those who lie about being rich are elevated to positions of power.
The most consequential people to ever grace this earth had no material wealth of which to speak, yet their legacy continues to guide the way we live.
Celebrating the death of someone who held up a mirror to your face does not say anything negative about the departed; it speaks to your character, or should I say the lack thereof?.…
Rest in peace, King!!!
.
.
.
.
.
Mike Beckles is a former Police Detective, businessman, a freelance writer, black achiever honoree, and creator of the blog mikebeckles.com.